


Your Love Is Sunlight

by earlymorningdarkness



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: A lot of mutual pining, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, a dash of hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24100012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlymorningdarkness/pseuds/earlymorningdarkness
Summary: One would think that living in a world where soulmates definitively exist would make this whole finding your other half thing really easy. Well, to think that would be to discount how willfully dumb two halves of a whole idiot can be even when it concerns their destiny, perhaps especially when it concerns their destiny.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 354





	Your Love Is Sunlight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gentle_autumn_rain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gentle_autumn_rain/gifts).



> I am not British, so expect only the vaguest of attempts at British vernacular and descriptions of the university setting.
> 
> Alternative titles: "Something So Magic About You," which is from a different Hozier song, or "In Good Time."
> 
> For one of my favorite people, who I have to thank for introducing me to this fandom.

One would think that living in a world where soulmates definitively exist would make this whole finding your other half thing really easy. Well, to think that would be to discount how willfully dumb two halves of a whole idiot can be even when it concerns their destiny, perhaps especially when it concerns their destiny.

***

Of course Merlin remembers the first time he saw him. Would have been kind of hard not to with the whole falling on top of him thing.

He had only minutes left on the timer on his forearm (not that Merlin was aware of this) when he started vaulting himself across the cobblestones sidewalks of his university. He was on a single-minded quest to find the nearest place to store up on some quality caffeine to power through the upsetting amount of homework he already had with syllabus week of his first year at school over. He was at this fancy school on scholarship, and there was no way he was gonna let his grades get the better of him.

Merlin probably should have been paying more attention to something as significant as the countdown to him seeing the prophesied love of his life coming to a close in only moments. He remembered seeing there wasn’t much time left on it when he woke up that morning, but then he realized he was running late and hungry and thirsty, and it somehow managed to slip from his brain.

Merlin obviously had heard all the stories that everyone else did growing up about timers counting down and eyes meeting and happily ever afters. They never held much appeal to him, though. When his dad left when he was little, it kind of cemented for him that being soulmates isn’t always enough to make it work. For another, how helpful was a timer that just counted down to when you had seen the love of your life? Sure, if you managed to meet when you’re the only two people in the room, it was probably helpful, but it felt pretty useless otherwise. Besides, Merlin didn’t need one more thing deciding his future more than being the most powerful sorcerer in recorded history just in time for magic to be illegal already was.

What mattered to Merlin right now was coffee, and lots of it, not soulmates. His quest was mildly thrown off course, however, when what had surely been open air right before he had looked down to check something on his phone, not the solid mass of a guy, collided and hurtled to the ground with him.

“Watch where you’re going!” The anonymous man was quick to shout at Merlin, as they attempted to untangle their limbs from each other.

Any shred of remorse that Merlin had felt at being his usual clumsy self evaporated in the face of this guy being such a clotpole over such a small thing. “I’m sorry, it was an accident!”

The second Merlin caught sight of him, though, his magic flared up like it never had before, burning his image in Merlin’s memory forever. Merlin could feel threads of magic as golden as the guy’s hair coursing under his skin as something just clicked into place. It took everything in him to keep his eyes from lighting up like halos in the middle of that university courtyard, which would pretty effectively ruin that promise he made to his mother Hunith to be subtle about his powers when he went off to school.

“Do you need someone to teach you how to walk? Would that keep you from almost killing someone with those bony fucking elbows in the future?” The man threw back, anger lighting up his features.

Merlin’s face hardened, broken from his reverie by the clotpole opening his mouth again, quickly losing the good will his beautiful features had afforded him. “I said I was sorry already, you don’t have to be so rude about it,” Merlin said.

“Do you know who I am,” the golden mystery man choked out.

“An arse, clearly” Merlin volleyed back.

“You can’t talk to me like that; I’m Arthur Pendragon.”

Merlin faltered for a moment at that. Of course Merlin managed to make an enemy of Arthur fucking Pendragon, son of the infamous business man who happened to notoriously hate magic users, in only his second week of school no less. Never one to let a battle of wits go to waste, however, Merlin recklessly pressed forth anyway.

“Oh, so a royal arse, then.”

“I could take you a part in one blow,” _Arthur_ claimed. Merlin laughed at that, giving Pendragon a cheeky once over because how could he not after he said something like that.

“I could take you a part in less, I assure you,” Merlin returned, subtlety be damned.

Before Arthur could manage a retort to that, Gwen’s voice came ringing out from right next to the dark-haired boy. “Merlin, _what_ are you doing?” He turned to look at his new friend, who he had met on the train up to school and miraculously happened to be in one of his classes, making them fast friends. When Gwen caught sight of the scrapes on Merlin’s hands and the slight dust on his knees from landing on the cobblestone ground, not to mention the sour expressions on the two boys’ faces, she instantly started fretting over him.

As he tried to assure her that he was fine, just dealing with a bit of a clotpole, said clotpole huffed out “Make sure _Mer_ lin here manages not to fatally injure anyone else today.” Merlin let out an indignant “oi” at that, but the clotpole skulked away with a devastated expression on his face before Merlin could lay into him for that.

After Merlin caught up with Gwen a bit and agreed to meet up with her for dinner later, Merlin set back on his quest for caffeine, his magic still thrumming under his skin. Merlin was just sitting down with his coffee and getting his books out when his shirtsleeve rode up, and he noticed a couple zeros peeking out from the fabric. He pushed the sleeve up all the way and gaped at the complete set of zeros lining his skin. His timer had finished and he had no idea when exactly because of fucking course.

***

“You’ve _got_ to be kidding me,” they both let out in unison, standing over the dark wooden round table in the library with their mutual friends having already taken their seats on either side of them.

Merlin had come to the library for a study session with Gwen and his friend Gwaine from his floor. Gwaine had invited his friend Leon, who was bringing a friend of his from childhood who was also going to school with them (per the typical complicated web of any college friend group’s early days). Right now, Merlin was sorely wishing he had asked what the childhood friend’s name was.

“It’s you.”

“It’s you,” the other throws back.

“Yes, you’re both yourselves. Now sit down and get your books out, and do try not to act too much like children,” Gwen intervened, receiving identical petulant expressions from Merlin and Arthur.

“He started it.”

“Fuck off, you started it!”

“Does it matter who started what? You bumped into each other a week ago, it’s not a big deal. Let’s move on before you start actually fighting,” Leon argued with his trademark calm.

“Personally, I’d love to see these two get a little physical, such gorgeous creatures both of them, wouldn’t you all say,” Gwaine said cheekily, with an equally cheeky hair flip to boot.

As Merlin and Arthur both blushed at that, they begrudgingly took their seats — Merlin sitting to Arthur’s right (why their friends had essentially forced them to sit next to each other was a mystery to the both of them).

The silence lasted for at least a solid thirty seconds. “Can you even read?” Arthur haughtily asked Merlin.

“I can actually, and look here, this page says ‘Arthur Pendragon is a total dollophead.’ Isn’t that fitting?” Merlin asked, with a wry grin.

“A dollophead?!”

As the two continued back and forth like children, barely managing five minutes of actual studying between barbs, their friends exchanged exasperated smiles. For their sakes, they all hoped that the two would catch a clue at some point in the near future.

***

Somehow Merlin and Arthur, and they really had become _Merlin and Arthur_ , at some point becoming inseparable, always managed to avoid talking about soulmates. Neither knew that the other’s counter had zeroed out at the beginning of the semester at the same time they had met each other. Not only was it considered impolite to ask and a bit embarrassing to admit that you might have missed your soulmate, but both were maybe too scared to find out that the other might still have time ticking on their counter.

Gwen and Lancelot had just found each other, though, after Merlin had finally brought the objectively knight-in-shining-armor-type-of-handsome guy from his English class, who always saved Merlin when the teacher called on him while he was daydreaming, round to the latest meetup of all their friends. The meeting left both Merlin and Arthur with the topic that they had tried to avoid thinking too much about all their lives rather top of mind.

They were sitting in Merlin’s dorm, as they had often seemed to find themselves doing when the other wasn’t busy, usually just doing work in comfortable silence or slacking off taking personality quizzes (the fact that they always seemed to get the same answer or compatible answers definitely went unaddressed), making sure to throw at least a few barbs at each other. Somehow between telling the other that something repulsive that had just come across their feed reminded them of the other, Gwen and Lancelot came up, and Merlin found he couldn’t help but bring up his frustration with the whole system.

He posed the question to Arthur, “I mean, really, of all the universes that we get to live in, we couldn’t have stumbled upon one with a bit clearer of a soulmate indicator? A countdown leaves so much room for error.”

“I don’t know, I always kind of liked that it was only a timer,” Arthur responded with uncharacteristic quietness.

Merlin looked up from reading his fantasy book on his phone when he heard the subtle shift in Arthur’s voice. He figured Arthur would probably prefer if Merlin acted like he couldn’t tell, however (they didn’t really do emotions very well). “First of all, why am I not surprised that you can’t even agree with me that soulmate timers are the worst?” Merlin offered. “Second of all, please expand, I beg of you.”

Arthur visibly swallowed, and his eyes flitted across the room from his position on Merlin’s bed, avoiding the other’s eye. Arthur tapped a pen on his International Relations reading, and his leg continued to lightly brush against Merlin’s side where he was sitting at the adjacent desk (that particular habit might have been one of Merlin’s personal favorites of Arthur’s nervous ticks, not that he would ever tell Arthur that.)

“Well, I don’t know. Don’t you like that you still kind of have a choice? It’s not like time runs out, and your soulmate’s name is tattooed on your forearm. Sure, the countdown narrows it down, but the illusion is still there that you and your soulmate are together because you made it be, not just because the universe decided it for you.”

“Yes, very comforting, soulmates exist, but there’s still the possibility that I could fuck it up, which would be very on brand for me, let’s be honest, and neither me nor my false soulmate would be willing to break it off because talk about an awkward conversation: ‘So, I think we got this whole destined soulmates thing wrong because if this is it, then I’m really disappointed,’” Merlin pushed, leaning back on the requisite basic unviersity desk chair.

“Well, obviously, _Mer_ lin, most of us don’t have trouble remembering such simple things as which classes we have on which days and, I don’t know, right from left, so maybe it is a bit much to ask you to get this whole soulmate business right,” Arthur laughed as he subtly pushed his shin into Merlin’s side before his expression schooled itself from wry smirk to vulnerable frown. “Just—Just, everything my whole life has been decided for me. Who to be friends with, where to go to school, what I’m gonna do after I graduate, it’s kind of comforting that maybe there’s one thing that’s mine,” he finished quietly, eyes briefly meeting Merlin’s whose breath caught on those last few words.

As Merlin tried to figure out the best way to respond, he subconsciously might have leaned his shoulder a bit more into the gentle press of Arthur’s leg. Sometimes he forgot how much pressure Arthur was under as the son of Uther Pendragon. While obviously it was immensely privileged that Arthur had a guaranteed path to success waiting for him after he graduated at their company, Merlin also knew that Arthur would not want to take the role for granted; he was stupidly honorable like that.

No matter how much of an arse he could be, no one could deny that Arthur was fiercely protective of those he loved, and his family’s company mattered to him. Not to mention, Uther and Arthur’s mother Ygraine had had the kind of relationship that made you believe they would have found each other in any universe, and that was a lot to live up to. When his mother had passed away, Uther had lost his way, directing all his anger with the world on his son, only occasionally acting like the man that made you believe that a woman like Ygraine had fallen in love with him. Just like Merlin, Arthur knew more than anyone that sometimes being soulmates wasn’t enough for a happy ever after.

While Uther clearly loved his son, Merlin could not forgive him for his faults the way Arthur always seemed to be so eager to do. Sometimes Merlin felt overwhelmed by how much he wanted to put the pieces of Arthur back together. He wanted to tell Arthur about his magic, show him all of himself, even just so Arthur knew that someone out there truly loved all of him. He never could quite work up the courage to do it, though.

For one, there was no way that he could ever be someone like Arthur’s soulmate (give the man a sword, a crown and some armor, and he’d fit into any hero’s epic) so what gave him the right to put Arthur through dealing with the fallout of Merlin’s misplaced feelings. Just because his feelings had grown painfully strong since they had become friends, does not mean that Arthur’s had. For another, Merlin was scared. He knew that Arthur was not like his father; he proved it everyday with his kindness and generosity, which had only grown as he and Arthur actually got to know each other. But, he was still Uther Pendragon’s son. Arthur had enough to deal with without Merlin making him feel like he needed to choose between his friend and his father.

Arthur reached out to push Merlin, causing him to almost lose his balance on the desk chair. “Earth to _Mer_ lin. Don’t think too hard, I can practically see the steam coming out of your ears,” Arthur joked, coming back to himself.

“Very good bit, did you think of that one yourself?” Merlin shot back, as he righted himself in the chair. After another pause, he quietly added, “It would be nice, to have a choice.”

If Merlin knew anything from growing up with magic as powerful as his, it was feeling like his destiny was not his to control. His hand subconciously started rubbing at his forearm, where the zeroes of his timer lay hidden under his skin, before joining Arthur on the bed to watch a dumb video that Arthur had distracted himself with. If Merlin was paying more attention to the comforting feeling of leaning his head on the blond’s shoulder (a gesture only partially meant as a subtle acknowledgement of Arthur opening up to him), then no one needed to know.

***

Merlin should have known this day was gonna come sooner or later, but god was he hoping it would have been later.

He promises that he had planned to tell Arthur at some point, he really did, but then they got into a car accident before he had worked up the courage, and all that mattered at that moment was to save Arthur, whatever the cost. Not only had protecting them both — he had been mainly focused on Arthur though, he was a bit embarrassed to admit — from a head on collision with almost no time to react taken up more of his power than Merlin had had to exercise in awhile, but then he also had to go and bloody faint in exhaustion because of it.

Maybe from a bit of fear at the prospect of losing Arthur, too, especially upon realizing that part of why they hadn’t seen the car was because he was distracted by their fucking arguing, but Merlin didn’t quite feel like owning up to that yet, even to himself.

Merlin came to in a hospital, with an entirely unscathed Arthur resting in a chair at his bedside, his hand clutching Merlin’s in his sleep. Merlin lets himself take a minute to smile at that and choke down the wave of fondness that overcame him before shaking Arthur’s hand a bit to wake him up and schooling his features.

Arthur started, his head snapping up from its place on the edge of Merlin’s bed, creases from the sheets imprinting his skin. Arthur’s eyes fell on their clasped hands and a small smile lifted his features before everything came back to him, and his eyes snapped wide open as they met Merlin’s.

He abruptly stood up, hands parting, “You’re awake,” Arthur said.

“Glad to see the collision didn’t rob you of any of your truly impressive observational skills.”

“It didn’t rob me of anything actually. I’m completely fine, which according to the doctors should have been impossible with a collision like that,” Arthur retorted, face hard.

Merlin squirmed slightly in his bed. “Yes, well, lucky you.”

“I don’t think it was luck actually. You’re totally fine, too. Well, relatively, I should say, as no one would ever wisely describe you as fine, if they had any sense. You just passed out for about a day,” Arthur paused. “I think there’s something you’re not telling me.”

Merlin couldn’t keep his breath from audibly catching, and desperately tried to look anywhere but at Arthur. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t, Merlin. I’m not stupid. Just tell me,” Arthur wouldn’t beg, but he was close. His hands clenched into fists at his sides as he braced himself. “Please,” he added quietly.

“Fuck,” Merlin gasped out at the please, tears welling in his eyes, as the day and the moment caught up with him. “Okay.”

Merlin cautiously met Arthur’s gaze, seeing a stony facade, with only the slight welling of tears betraying how Arthur really felt. “You’re right, it wasn’t luck. I saved you, saved us. I...I have magic, Arthur. I was born with it. It doesn’t make me evil, magic is not evil, it’s only a tool that can be used however the person who wields it wants. And...and I use mine for you, Arthur.”

Arthur seemed to gasp at that, and his expression faltered for a moment before anger set back in. “You lied to me for months. I can’t believe this. I...and I really thought I...I was sure that you were my...I’ve got to go,” Arthur choked out, before storming from the room, Merlin’s cries falling into silence.

***

Merlin was discharged quickly, to some perplexed faces, since technically nothing was actually wrong with him.

He immediately went to find Arthur, intent to make this right again. He had to, physically unable to bear the thought of losing Arthur forever.

Wracking his brain for where to check first, Merlin decided he should probably stop by his room to change and collect his thoughts before going anywhere else to find him. When he made it to his hall, though, a familiar shape had taken up residence outside his dorm.

“It’s you,” Merlin said incredulously, stopping in his tracks at the sight of Arthur, who had run from him just hours before.

“It’s me. Don’t ask me why, I barely know myself,” Arthur’s head rolled to the side to look at Merlin.

Merlin continued to hold vigil in the hallway, nonplussed.

“Well, are you going to let me in, or have you decided the hallway is really better suited for you,” Arthur threw out.

“No, of course I’ll let you in,” Merlin got out, rushing forward to unlock the door, shocked that Arthur wasn’t still running.

As they walked into the room that they had spent what felt like lifetimes together in, Merlin tried to figure out what to say, but Arthur beat him to it.

“Why did you lie to me?” Merlin whipped around at that, stricken by Arthur’s heartbroken expression.

“I didn’t mean to! I wanted to tell you, please believe me, Arthur. I wanted to tell you more than I’ve ever wanted to tell anyone. You’re...you’re everything to me, Arthur. I was scared that it would be too much if I was honest about, well about everything really, it wouldn’t be fair to tell you, I didn’t want to put you in that position with your father, I —”

“You didn’t tell me because you didn’t want to hurt me?” Arthurs asked him incredulously.

“Of course, I would never want to hurt you. I mean, insult you obviously, but never hurt you. Arthur, I love—” Arthur surged forward before Merlin could finish, pushing Merlin’s sleeve up to reveal his counter of zeros. Arthur let out a self-deprecating laugh.

“That day in the quad,” he said, relaxing his hands in a tender hold on Merlin’s arm, his thumb running a careful back and forth across the zeros, the sunlight from Merlin’s window glinting off the metal of Ygraine’s ring on Arthur’s thumb. Arthur hesitantly stopped to push up his own sleeve, revealing his blank counter as well, to which Merlin let out an overwhelmed gasp.

“We’re so stupid,” Arthur said, trailing both his hands up Merlin’s arms before lightly taking his face in his hands, caressing his jaw, before moving foward to catch Merlin’s lips in a calm, golden kiss. “And I love you, too.”

“Very, very stupid, I’d say,” Merlin gets out, as their lips part, both smiling too much for a minute to continue, but they press on somehow.

***

Of course Arthur remembers the first time he saw him. Would have been kind of hard not to with the whole falling on top of him thing.

Arthur had been staring so intently at his forearm as the seconds ticked by that he almost forgot to look up as the moment finally came to pass. He was so busy trying to look around without being too ridiculous about it — Pendragons must always look above it all, as his father would remind him — and catch his soulmate’s eye that of course he didn’t see the blubbering idiot barrel into him in the middle of the courtyard.

“Watch where you’re going!” Arthur shouted from their place tangled together on the cobblestone ground of the quad.

“I’m sorry, it was an accident!” The idiot responded, a blur of flailing limbs, as the two tried to right themselves.

“Do you need someone to teach you how to walk? Would that keep you from almost killing someone with those bony fucking elbows in the future?” Arthur threw back, finally managing to escape the gangly boy’s grasp and get to his feet when the world stopped.

High cheekbones, curly black hair, truly ridiculous (adorable) ears, the bluest fucking eyes that Arthur had ever seen, and an almost golden glow that cemented for Arthur that he definitely hit his head because people don’t glow and this guy was not his type, so why was he so arrested by just looking at him.

“I said I was sorry already, you don’t have to be so rude about it,” the guy with the alarming blue eyes shot back.

Arthur tripped over his tongue in shock that anyone had dared talk back to him, the haze of his initial fascination quickly sharpening to intense irritation. “Do you know who I am,” he sputtered out.

“An arse, clearly.”

“You can’t talk to me like that; I’m Arthur Pendragon.”

“Oh, so a royal arse, then.”

“I could take you a part in one blow,” Arthur volleyed back, incredulous.

“I could take you a part in less, I assure you,” the stranger responded, causing Arthur to blush in a way that he hoped wasn’t too noticeable.

“Merlin, _what_ are you doing?” A voice comes out of nowhere, from a beautiful girl with dark curly hair and a delicate violet dress, who took Merlin’s arm as she found them in the quad. Why the sight of the girl taking Merlin’s arm made his heart clench irrationally was beyond him. Of course his name is something like Merlin. It would definitely be best for him to avoid the idiot, unless he wanted to hear constant Merlin and Arthur jokes for the rest of his life, and in no universe did that sound like a happy forever.

With a start, the girl’s sudden appearance reminded Arthur why he hadn’t been paying attention when Merlin ran him over, and a whole new wave of anger washed over him as he looked around frantically. This total idiot had distracted him when he was supposed to be looking for his soulmate, after years of waiting for the timer to reach zero. How was he supposed to find them now? Arthur’s fists clenched, and his lips drew themselves into a thin line as he turned to the sight of the girl fussing over Merlin.

“Make sure _Mer_ lin here manages not to fatally injure anyone else today,” Arthur directed at the pretty girl, too upset to even look at Merlin, who surely had an indignant look plastered on his face as Arthur huffed and stomped away.

And that Arthur had seen gold and forever when he looked at Merlin that first day, well no one needed to know.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
